Leia "fITE ME" Organa (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
oratorical) wrote2016-05-05 08:19 pm
oratorical) wrote2016-05-05 08:19 pm
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Hm? [She gives her head a slight quick shake.] Ah... no, not exactly. It serves me right, for mentioning the place... I was thinking about the person who first told me about it. It's where... my husband has been staying, all this time.
Your husband?
[He's probably come up in conversations before, but in all honesty, Leia didn't know much about the man. Which was probably a deliberate choice on Eleanor's part.]
What has he been doing down there?
[He's probably come up in conversations before, but in all honesty, Leia didn't know much about the man. Which was probably a deliberate choice on Eleanor's part.]
What has he been doing down there?
[She thinks it's a futile effort and that Ezra is just wasting his time. Luke may have claimed to bring Anakin back to the light, but as far as Leia cares, it didn't do much of anything. He only turned to the light for Luke, and that light was nowhere to be found when she needed it. Her own irritation with Ezra's choices comes through loud and clear, even if she may not want it to.]
Even if it were possible, stopping or delaying his turn in his time will do nothing for our time. No matter how good he may pretend to be here, and no matter how determined you and any other Jedi are to prevent his turn, it won't change what we've already experienced. It won't save Alderaan. As far as I care, Anakin Skywalker is a lost cause.
Even if it were possible, stopping or delaying his turn in his time will do nothing for our time. No matter how good he may pretend to be here, and no matter how determined you and any other Jedi are to prevent his turn, it won't change what we've already experienced. It won't save Alderaan. As far as I care, Anakin Skywalker is a lost cause.
Even if it doesn't benefit me, that's no reason not to try anyway. Turning him back would save someone out there at least some of the pain we had, so as far as I'm concerned, it's still worth it. It-
Wait, what do you mean, it won't save Alderaan?
[Leia may not have intended to snag his attention like that, but that's certainly what just happened.]
Wait, what do you mean, it won't save Alderaan?
[Leia may not have intended to snag his attention like that, but that's certainly what just happened.]
I told you that the Rebellion had changed in between our times. That's just one of many reasons why.
[She'll explain if pushed, but for obvious reasons, it's not one she wants to dwell on.]
[She'll explain if pushed, but for obvious reasons, it's not one she wants to dwell on.]
Mmm... [Almost everyone had taken some of her downturns in mood as being part of the situation with her son, and she hadn't gone out of her way to correct them. The situation with her husband... she kept the more complex details about it close to her chest, simply due to how dizzying sorting it all out was.
But... perhaps that wasn't fair, not when Leia had grown to be one of her more consistent confidantes here. A chill creeps up, freezing the liquids in their cups.]
... He's... trying to build a fresh start for himself, while waiting for me... to finish sorting out how I feel about everything that's happened between us. He's been down there for months. I only just saw him again in Theasthai...
But... perhaps that wasn't fair, not when Leia had grown to be one of her more consistent confidantes here. A chill creeps up, freezing the liquids in their cups.]
... He's... trying to build a fresh start for himself, while waiting for me... to finish sorting out how I feel about everything that's happened between us. He's been down there for months. I only just saw him again in Theasthai...
[He might have been willing to drop the subject about almost any other world. The future is a headache they've already agreed to leave mostly untouched. But Alderaan in particular has a significance that only Lothal can match.
He has a friend there. He hasn't seen her for more than a year, but she's there.]
What happened to Alderaan?
He has a friend there. He hasn't seen her for more than a year, but she's there.]
What happened to Alderaan?
[a friend on Alderaan, wow. You know who else had friends and family and everything else on Alderaan??? Okay no.
It takes Leia a moment to respond, but in that moment, an overwhelming icy chill of fear and grief fills the silence, but there's a hot undercurrent of anger along with it. It's a lot of emotions, perhaps, but Alderaan will always be an open wound, something that even time can't fully heal.]
The Empire destroyed it. Alderaan is gone.
It takes Leia a moment to respond, but in that moment, an overwhelming icy chill of fear and grief fills the silence, but there's a hot undercurrent of anger along with it. It's a lot of emotions, perhaps, but Alderaan will always be an open wound, something that even time can't fully heal.]
The Empire destroyed it. Alderaan is gone.
[Look, he knows Leia's from Alderaan, but she's here. She's okay. His thoughts haven't spiraled out to the people he doesn't know yet.
And how can they, really, before he even knows what happened? Before that grief and anger hit him like a wall, staggering him. The words that follow are just as bad when they sink in, and if colors can be ascribed to their connection, then everything between them goes gray, dulled by shock.]
W-What? Wait... What does that even mean? Did they strip mine it? Poison it with too much waste? What about all the people who lived there?
[The thought that Leia was being literal hasn't occurred to him. Before the Death Star, who even would believe that a whole world could be blown up?]
And how can they, really, before he even knows what happened? Before that grief and anger hit him like a wall, staggering him. The words that follow are just as bad when they sink in, and if colors can be ascribed to their connection, then everything between them goes gray, dulled by shock.]
W-What? Wait... What does that even mean? Did they strip mine it? Poison it with too much waste? What about all the people who lived there?
[The thought that Leia was being literal hasn't occurred to him. Before the Death Star, who even would believe that a whole world could be blown up?]
Alderaan was a core world. They keep strip mining and waste dumping to planets less likely to cause an uproar in the Senate.
[not that she wasn't outraged by all that regardless, and there wasn't really a Senate anymore either, but that was generally how things work. The core planets are too wealthy and too important to the Empire. But she would've preferred anything to what actually happened. Destroy Alderaan's natural beauty as retaliation, but at least leave the planet there.
But they hadn't and they wouldn't and even though most times she knows better, Leia still blames herself for what happened, as if she could have changed anything. Those strong emotions don't fade at all as she continues, really only getting worse the more she has to explain.]
I mean it literally. The Empire developed a new weapon and tested its full power on Alderaan.
[not that she wasn't outraged by all that regardless, and there wasn't really a Senate anymore either, but that was generally how things work. The core planets are too wealthy and too important to the Empire. But she would've preferred anything to what actually happened. Destroy Alderaan's natural beauty as retaliation, but at least leave the planet there.
But they hadn't and they wouldn't and even though most times she knows better, Leia still blames herself for what happened, as if she could have changed anything. Those strong emotions don't fade at all as she continues, really only getting worse the more she has to explain.]
I mean it literally. The Empire developed a new weapon and tested its full power on Alderaan.
[Leia subtly moves her hands away from her cup as it freezes, not drawing too much attention to the cold effects of Eleanor's emotions. She's sure Eleanor is probably aware of it, but it's not something Leia wants to draw attention to, out of politeness.]
And what do you feel about everything that's happened? If I can ask.
And what do you feel about everything that's happened? If I can ask.
Well... honestly, it all makes me feel just awful. [The very reason she tries not to dwell on it around her friends and acquaintances, though Kylo Ren had drawn it out of her.] The right thing to do would be to forgive him, and pray that we can start over, after all of this, but every time I think about him, I ...
[Well, the emotional effects plaguing her sort of speak for themselves.]
[Well, the emotional effects plaguing her sort of speak for themselves.]
What?!
[He feels like a scratched data disc, just repeating the same thing again, but he can't have heard what she just said. The world around him rocks, until he realizes that it's actually him. He sits down abruptly.]
But-! They wouldn't-! That's billions and billions of people! Billions of innocents! That's a planet, and... and a Core World! Even the Empire wouldn't-!
[He might be on the verge of hyperventilating, and Leia's emotions aren't helping one bit. His mind just can't wrap around this. How can a whole planet just be gone?]
[He feels like a scratched data disc, just repeating the same thing again, but he can't have heard what she just said. The world around him rocks, until he realizes that it's actually him. He sits down abruptly.]
But-! They wouldn't-! That's billions and billions of people! Billions of innocents! That's a planet, and... and a Core World! Even the Empire wouldn't-!
[He might be on the verge of hyperventilating, and Leia's emotions aren't helping one bit. His mind just can't wrap around this. How can a whole planet just be gone?]
How is forgiving him the right thing to do?
[there's no judgment in her tone when she asks, but she is genuinely confused by that. She knows enough vague information about the issue that led to Pride being how he is now, from whispers and her own research. So that, combined with Eleanor admitting it makes her feel horrible, well. Leia doesn't get it.]
[there's no judgment in her tone when she asks, but she is genuinely confused by that. She knows enough vague information about the issue that led to Pride being how he is now, from whispers and her own research. So that, combined with Eleanor admitting it makes her feel horrible, well. Leia doesn't get it.]
The Empire doesn't care. As far as they were concerned, Alderaan and all its inhabitants were to provide a lesson to the rest of the galaxy.
[because that's what Tarkin had said, wasn't it? That the old base on Dantooine was too far out of the way to be an effective example. A fresh wave of guilt rolls through the link at that recollection. She's not sure how she would've felt if the Empire really had gone ahead and destroyed Dantooine instead at her word. Alderaan would've been safe for another day, but Dantooine's destruction would have been her fault entirely.]
[because that's what Tarkin had said, wasn't it? That the old base on Dantooine was too far out of the way to be an effective example. A fresh wave of guilt rolls through the link at that recollection. She's not sure how she would've felt if the Empire really had gone ahead and destroyed Dantooine instead at her word. Alderaan would've been safe for another day, but Dantooine's destruction would have been her fault entirely.]
I wouldn't dare take anything from his junk pile. It's clear that he's trying to rebuild a ship out of garbage. [He points to a few things that he wouldn't really consider using. This place mostly used gears, wires and elemental cores. If only he could get his hands on an engine around here to get a closer look at how it works. Let's face it... he'll take it apart to try to put it back together again. Better and faster.
There's a moment where he takes a small peek over at Leia. He wanted to see her reaction when the metal ball bloomed. That little trick was had to mimic. Poe had bought something to help him figure out how to use the right piece.
He smiled at Leia while giving a small shrug.]
I pieced a lot of it together. Most of it's from other pieces that did similar things. But none of them were quite right for what I was looking for. [He points towards a petal that looks as if there's a scorch mark at the center but it blinds in with the paint job.] It's not exactly perfect there's a lot of these but I tried my best with the paint. Trying to put it in spots to distract your eye. Also the turning gears were tricky to figure out.
[BB-8 gives a few beeps while making a sound that seemed close to laughter.]
He's amused by how many times I watched other gadgets before he started helping me.
There's a moment where he takes a small peek over at Leia. He wanted to see her reaction when the metal ball bloomed. That little trick was had to mimic. Poe had bought something to help him figure out how to use the right piece.
He smiled at Leia while giving a small shrug.]
I pieced a lot of it together. Most of it's from other pieces that did similar things. But none of them were quite right for what I was looking for. [He points towards a petal that looks as if there's a scorch mark at the center but it blinds in with the paint job.] It's not exactly perfect there's a lot of these but I tried my best with the paint. Trying to put it in spots to distract your eye. Also the turning gears were tricky to figure out.
[BB-8 gives a few beeps while making a sound that seemed close to laughter.]
He's amused by how many times I watched other gadgets before he started helping me.
Well, he misses having the Falcon around.
[Get it, because the Falcon is garbage that somehow flies. Look, she's allowed to rag on it, okay, she's earned that right. And for as much as she does insult it, she is fond of the ship in her own way.
She looks at the spot Poe points out, having not noticed the scorch mark before, and not just because of the paint job. She was distracted by how it opened up and unfolded itself, okay. And even with the scorch mark, that doesn't make it any less impressive or make her like it any less. It was beautiful and thoughtful, and she appreciates it very much.
She laughs softly at Poe's translation of BB-8's input, since it's kind of funny that the droid had to get his say in. Also totally expected of the droids she's kept in her company.]
It sounds like I have to thank Beebee-Ate just as much as you for this gift, going by his version of things.
[Get it, because the Falcon is garbage that somehow flies. Look, she's allowed to rag on it, okay, she's earned that right. And for as much as she does insult it, she is fond of the ship in her own way.
She looks at the spot Poe points out, having not noticed the scorch mark before, and not just because of the paint job. She was distracted by how it opened up and unfolded itself, okay. And even with the scorch mark, that doesn't make it any less impressive or make her like it any less. It was beautiful and thoughtful, and she appreciates it very much.
She laughs softly at Poe's translation of BB-8's input, since it's kind of funny that the droid had to get his say in. Also totally expected of the droids she's kept in her company.]
It sounds like I have to thank Beebee-Ate just as much as you for this gift, going by his version of things.
That's...
[She opens her mouth, closes it, and shakes her head for a moment. It's that painful to answer, and she'd rather not lose complete control of her emotions in the small cafe. Not that bottling them up helped. She could feel the cold and numbness running up her arms and tightening in her chest as it often did when she thought of her marriage.
She exhales, softly. The tightness doesn't fade.]
For everything that's happened, he is still my husband. And this world might be our last chance... to have anything. For him to start over, if... that's what he truly wants to do.
[She opens her mouth, closes it, and shakes her head for a moment. It's that painful to answer, and she'd rather not lose complete control of her emotions in the small cafe. Not that bottling them up helped. She could feel the cold and numbness running up her arms and tightening in her chest as it often did when she thought of her marriage.
She exhales, softly. The tightness doesn't fade.]
For everything that's happened, he is still my husband. And this world might be our last chance... to have anything. For him to start over, if... that's what he truly wants to do.
[she's silent for a moment, taking in Eleanor's response. She can see the reasoning behind it, but Leia isn't all that sure she finds the reasoning to be sound. Largely because of how much emphasis she's placing on her husband, rather than herself. Leia may have been raised to think of others before herself and may continue to do that, for the sake of the galaxy, but it's something she's been working on, on wanting to prioritize her family to prevent what will happen in the future. Which is why Eleanor's answer bothers her.]
You keep focusing on him. Is a chance to start over something you want, as well?
You keep focusing on him. Is a chance to start over something you want, as well?
A message?!
[Disbelief and outrage rise up like a bubble through the shock.]
What kind of message did they think they were sending?! "You guys should all join the Rebellion because the Empire is a bunch of murderous kriffing bastards?!"
[Sorry not sorry for the language there, Leia. Some sentiments jut can't be expressed without it.]
[Disbelief and outrage rise up like a bubble through the shock.]
What kind of message did they think they were sending?! "You guys should all join the Rebellion because the Empire is a bunch of murderous kriffing bastards?!"
[Sorry not sorry for the language there, Leia. Some sentiments jut can't be expressed without it.]
[no need to excuse that language, because it's exactly what she feels. She can excuse Ezra this time.]
That was the message they wound up sending.
[because Alderaan's destruction was seen as an unforgivable offense, which it was, and many defected to or joined up with the Rebellion after all that. They couldn't pin the destruction on the Rebels, as much as they tried.]
But it was intended to instill fear and obedience into the galaxy. To show the dangers of rebellion.
That was the message they wound up sending.
[because Alderaan's destruction was seen as an unforgivable offense, which it was, and many defected to or joined up with the Rebellion after all that. They couldn't pin the destruction on the Rebels, as much as they tried.]
But it was intended to instill fear and obedience into the galaxy. To show the dangers of rebellion.
[Eleanor falls quiet for a long pause once more, as Leia's words strike a chord she had not been addressing. Similar to her conversation with Kylo, and yet not, though it was not the time or place for such a comparison. Finally:]
... Would it be funny to say that I don't truly have an answer for that? I've been going in circles over it for months. There is no going back to what we were, and our family would never be that again -- I've accepted that. I'd rather know the truth as it is. But now I have that to worry about ...
[The trust issues. There had been too many lies, to tell just much how she had been used--or deserved to be. She attempts to adopt a lighter tone, to try and deflect from the sad irony of it all.]
But that's just the darker side of love, isn't it? I've ... never been so lonely.
... Would it be funny to say that I don't truly have an answer for that? I've been going in circles over it for months. There is no going back to what we were, and our family would never be that again -- I've accepted that. I'd rather know the truth as it is. But now I have that to worry about ...
[The trust issues. There had been too many lies, to tell just much how she had been used--or deserved to be. She attempts to adopt a lighter tone, to try and deflect from the sad irony of it all.]
But that's just the darker side of love, isn't it? I've ... never been so lonely.
I don't think it's strange to say that, but it's important to consider your own wants and needs against his own.
[which she's sure Eleanor already knows, but it can't hurt to say it again, to emphasize the importance. The last part, though, she's not so sure she agrees with. It doesn't seem like love to commit all those horrible acts in someone else's name and leave them to suffer the brunt of the mistreatment and judgment from others resulting from that. She can't see how love would factor in there at all.]
You still love him, then?
[which she's sure Eleanor already knows, but it can't hurt to say it again, to emphasize the importance. The last part, though, she's not so sure she agrees with. It doesn't seem like love to commit all those horrible acts in someone else's name and leave them to suffer the brunt of the mistreatment and judgment from others resulting from that. She can't see how love would factor in there at all.]
You still love him, then?
Of course I do. [Slightly more defensive than needed, even with her soft tone, though the ice shatters, cracking one of the cups.] ... Oh dear...
[Hopefully none of the patron's noticed, but she'd put extra money in to the check to pay for it, whenever that arrived. But she shakes her head.] He's... not who I thought he was, but I feel as if he has walls around who he is, as much as he says otherwise. In ... in any case, I said that I needed space, and I can't bring myself to call him back... so you see, that is my own fault.
[Hopefully none of the patron's noticed, but she'd put extra money in to the check to pay for it, whenever that arrived. But she shakes her head.] He's... not who I thought he was, but I feel as if he has walls around who he is, as much as he says otherwise. In ... in any case, I said that I needed space, and I can't bring myself to call him back... so you see, that is my own fault.
[She won't comment on the cup, that would be rude. But, she does glance down at it, startled as the cup cracks loudly thanks to the ice. Leia picks up any small pieces that may have broken off, placing them on the saucer underneath the cup as she returns her gaze up to the older woman.]
Anyone who says they wouldn't need space from someone who betrayed their trust that deeply is lying.
[Because it's not Eleanor's fault she wanted time to think things out in the least.]
Is there any trace of the man you thought he was in him?
Anyone who says they wouldn't need space from someone who betrayed their trust that deeply is lying.
[Because it's not Eleanor's fault she wanted time to think things out in the least.]
Is there any trace of the man you thought he was in him?
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