[her focus remains cloudy, especially after he asks about staying here. Didn't he want to stay? There was no empire, no first order, no one who would turn on her if they learned who her birth father was. It was peaceful, relaxing, and... Ben?
She looks slightly more thoughtful at the mention of Ben, as if she's trying to fight off the mental fog enveloping her. But it doesn't quite work, because she realizes with a smile that she doesn't have to go home for Ben. Ben is already here. If that's Han's worry, he must have just forgotten about that, and he'll agree with her once she reminds him. That has to be it.]
Ben is already here. We can stay here and make this our home. We'll have Ben and my father and Takashi. And maybe Luke and Chewie will come, too.
We have a home already! Listen, you can't tell me you don't want to experience Ben's life from the beginning? You--you could sense him when you were pregnant, did you know that? Luke taught you some Jedi tricks and you used to meditate to feel him, that's how we found out it was a boy.
[he's starting to sound desperate. he's a half step away from tossing her into a cold shower or something. whatever's been wrong with her up until this point is clearly taking a serious turn, and despite his growing sense of panic he is glad he came home early after all.]
[is the first thing that comes to mind at his insistence that they have a home back in their galaxy. Han and the Falcon may be home now, but that word will always mean Alderaan to her on some level.
But rather than looking numb or hollow at the mention of Alderaan in this context, Leia just looks... confused. Not entirely all there, and quite literally frosty. It isn't spreading as fast as before with Han's continued arguments, but the frost on her neck has creeped its way around to the front, visible now from behind her hair. Leia still hasn't noticed or decided to care about it.]
If we go home, we just have to watch Ben turn first hand. Wouldn't it be better to just stay here?
[han makes a wordless frustrated noise at her continued argument, but his alarm ratchets suddenly as he notices the icy patch on her neck. he pulls his hands away to examine it, running his fingers over it and feeling deeply alarmed when he realizes it literally feels like ice. he spins her around, not bothering to be too gentle in his hurry, and pulls her hair back to see how far it extends.]
What the hell!
[what exactly is he supposed to do about this? it's like...an emotional effect, right? probably connected to how she's acting, but he has no idea what he can do about it. he suddenly vividly wishes that luke was here to deal with the mystical crap.]
Leia, would you listen to yourself? We do have a home, we got a house on Chandrila. Listen, this Rebellion crap, it don't last as long as you think it will? Back home we're just, just takin' care of the baby and livin' our lives! Where is all this crap about staying here coming from?
[she tries to focus on his touch, but before she can really savor it, he's turning her around and shoving her hair to the side. She stumbles slightly as he turns her, and for the briefest moment, the fog surrounding her breaks, and the ice on her neck recedes slightly. Not entirely, but enough for Han to notice a change.]
What...? Han?
[Before he can inspect it more closely, however, she moves her hands behind her head, placing them on top of his. She wants to be close to him and wants to touch him, too; his hands being the only ones doing the touching just isn't fair.
Her return to normalcy doesn't last as long as he'd like, however, and she's soon slipping back into wondering just why he's so against staying here. Maybe it's because he's mad she isn't thinking about the Falcon? She isn't sure. The longer she pauses to think about things, the more the patch of ice starts to spread again, slower than before. ]
Is it so bad to want to stay here? Things have been nice, haven't they?
Stop! [he snaps impatiently, swatting her hands away. let him look, dammit.] No, things have not been nice! It's boring as hell and half the people we care about aren't here!
[his snapping seems to help, at least with the ice. As abruptly as he shouts, the ice recedes to a much smaller patch only on her neck. Unfortunately, just as the ice recedes, so too does Leia. She drops her hands from his as if she were burned, hunching forward and going silent as he continues to speak.
She doesn't respond right away--almost as if she isn't sure whether she should reply or not. He had gotten mad the last time she did and threw her hands off of him. She doesn't want him mad at her, because if he's mad, he could very well storm off and leave her here, and then she wouldn't get to be around him. But after a moment or two, she does respond, albeit softer than before.]
There are people we care about here, though. Ben is here. My father is here.
[and there are others, the ones not from their galaxy, but these two are the most important.]
Okay, and what happens when they disappear? Think!
[he hates that it seems like he's hurt her feelings, but on the other hand he's completely freaked out by the ice thing. for now he'd rather her be sad than be covered in ice.]
[her voice sounds distant and distracted as she repeats his question. On some level, she understands what he's asking and what he means, but it's clear that she hasn't fully registered what he's getting at. As she thinks, slowly but surely, the ice fades a little more.]
Because we don't get to choose to stay here, Leia, it's at the whim of...of...whatever controls this place, remember? Luke's gone, ain't he? He's been gone for months and his amulet disappeared too. There's no such thing as staying here forever so I really need you to snap out of whatever the hell this is!
[he starts out sounding...reassuring, almost, like he's trying to be gentle, but by the end his voice has raised in a mixture of aggravation and desperation. she's frightening him and when he's frightened he becomes cold, like the smuggler in him is coming to the front.]
[she looks even more thoughtful, fighting through the cloud of confusion over her to listen to Han's reasoning. He is right, Luke did leave. His amulet is gone and everything, and he hasn't returned like Finn had. And it seems to work to help lift that cloud and bring her back to the present.
But even with all the good that did, she can't help but flinch at his tone by the end of all that. And instead she focuses on how he's feeling over his arguments.]
Are you upset with me? I can stop talking about this, just... stay here with me. Don't leave.
[he still sounds agitated, but he turns her back toward him much more gently than he did before, leaving his hands on her shoulders. his grip is a little tight, as he's hoping that will keep her in the moment rather than make her obsess over him more.]
Something weird's goin' on here, Leia, I need you to focus. Me or you or your dad or Ben could disappear at any moment and never come back. You already knew that, yeah? There's nothing here for us long term.
[she still looks a little dazed, like there's something in her head just interfering with how she's processing all this and how she's thinking about everything. But she doesn't make an effort to move her hands to be on him. He said he needs her to focus, so that's what she's doing. If it makes him happy and is what he wants, she can do that, even if she'd rather have her hands on him.]
...Right. We can disappear at any moment.
[well, whether or not she's just repeating it or actually believes it is debatable, but her brow is furrowed, and it looks as if she's trying to sort through something there, but isn't quite there yet.]
[it does help, and her attention focuses on him far more clearly than it has since she's started talking about staying here. It's as if she's just really realizing he's there for the first time, and that he's clearly worried about something. ...and that he's home at a time of day when he's usually at work.]
We will.
[she pauses, breaking her attention from him to look at where his hands are holding onto her.]
[he opens his mouth, ostensibly to say something else about their life back home, and ends up just gaping at her for a second when she asks her question. he does a quick mental reboot and, nope, still can't believe what he just heard.]
Am--am I okay?
[he sounds a little too calm now, as he looks down and back up like he's searching for some kind of inner strength.]
Am I okay? Well, babe, I gotta say I've been better.
[his voice is mild, quiet, but there's a definite audible strain there.]
[the strain in his voice isn't lost on her, and Leia returns her gaze back to his face. Concern and confusion are written all over her expression, but the fogginess from before is mostly gone. Her expression is clear and back to being 100% Leia.]
[he inspects her face closely rather than answer, then uses his grip on her shoulders to turn her around one last time. he's just gotta see if that ice is gone, then he'll calm down.]
You tell me.
[he says grimly, as he gently pushes her hair aside to better see her neck.]
[she's clearly confused but complies with his request, letting him turn her around. The ice on her neck is gone by now, all that's left is her skin there being cold to the touch. The feverish warmth in the rest of her body has vanished, as well, returning her to a more normal temperature.]
Tell you what? I don't know what you're worried about. Would you please talk to me?
[he strokes the back of her neck, half worried that it'll cause her bizarre behavior to return but also wanting to warm up the skin there. she certainly sounds more like herself now, though, so that's something.]
You scared the hell out of me, that's what happened. Do you even remember anything that happened today? Yesterday?
[she lets him rub her neck without so much as a flinch or a complaint. Which is the norm, but shows just how much she trusts him, considering she doesn't even wear shirts with high necklines anymore--hasn't for a year now--due to not wanting that pressure there.
She doesn't answer him right away, instead taking time to think over his question. Because she remembers parts of it, it isn't a complete blackout. It's just... hazy. Like something isn't quite right about it all, and she wasn't fully acting like herself.]
I remember wanting to be around you, and that I was glad you came back early today.
[he still sounds worried, even though it seems like the danger has passed. for all he knows she'll have a sudden regression or something.]
And it's like--
[he presses his palm against the spot where the ice was, feeling like it seems a more normal temperature now, and then pulls away and doesn't try to touch her again. which is a touch odd, for him, considering how anxious he sounds.]
[in contrast to before, she doesn't try and lean back into his touch. Instead, she turns around to face him, clearly still perplexed by everything, including his description.]
It's like what?
[she's trying to be patient and understanding but as much as she doesn't want to pressure him for information, she really wants to know.]
[this, on the other hand, does cause her to reach for him. She reaches out--slowly--to grab his wrist, bringing his hand up and placing it against the side of her neck. She figures this must be where the ice was, given his reaction earlier, and she wants to reinforce the point that now, at least, she's fine.]
I'm fine now, Han. I don't... know what happened earlier, but I'm fine. I promise.
[well there's no way of telling, but she feels fine, and is absolutely not frozen.]
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She looks slightly more thoughtful at the mention of Ben, as if she's trying to fight off the mental fog enveloping her. But it doesn't quite work, because she realizes with a smile that she doesn't have to go home for Ben. Ben is already here. If that's Han's worry, he must have just forgotten about that, and he'll agree with her once she reminds him. That has to be it.]
Ben is already here. We can stay here and make this our home. We'll have Ben and my father and Takashi. And maybe Luke and Chewie will come, too.
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[he's starting to sound desperate. he's a half step away from tossing her into a cold shower or something. whatever's been wrong with her up until this point is clearly taking a serious turn, and despite his growing sense of panic he is glad he came home early after all.]
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[is the first thing that comes to mind at his insistence that they have a home back in their galaxy. Han and the Falcon may be home now, but that word will always mean Alderaan to her on some level.
But rather than looking numb or hollow at the mention of Alderaan in this context, Leia just looks... confused. Not entirely all there, and quite literally frosty. It isn't spreading as fast as before with Han's continued arguments, but the frost on her neck has creeped its way around to the front, visible now from behind her hair. Leia still hasn't noticed or decided to care about it.]
If we go home, we just have to watch Ben turn first hand. Wouldn't it be better to just stay here?
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What the hell!
[what exactly is he supposed to do about this? it's like...an emotional effect, right? probably connected to how she's acting, but he has no idea what he can do about it. he suddenly vividly wishes that luke was here to deal with the mystical crap.]
Leia, would you listen to yourself? We do have a home, we got a house on Chandrila. Listen, this Rebellion crap, it don't last as long as you think it will? Back home we're just, just takin' care of the baby and livin' our lives! Where is all this crap about staying here coming from?
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What...? Han?
[Before he can inspect it more closely, however, she moves her hands behind her head, placing them on top of his. She wants to be close to him and wants to touch him, too; his hands being the only ones doing the touching just isn't fair.
Her return to normalcy doesn't last as long as he'd like, however, and she's soon slipping back into wondering just why he's so against staying here. Maybe it's because he's mad she isn't thinking about the Falcon? She isn't sure. The longer she pauses to think about things, the more the patch of ice starts to spread again, slower than before. ]
Is it so bad to want to stay here? Things have been nice, haven't they?
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She doesn't respond right away--almost as if she isn't sure whether she should reply or not. He had gotten mad the last time she did and threw her hands off of him. She doesn't want him mad at her, because if he's mad, he could very well storm off and leave her here, and then she wouldn't get to be around him. But after a moment or two, she does respond, albeit softer than before.]
There are people we care about here, though. Ben is here. My father is here.
[and there are others, the ones not from their galaxy, but these two are the most important.]
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[he hates that it seems like he's hurt her feelings, but on the other hand he's completely freaked out by the ice thing. for now he'd rather her be sad than be covered in ice.]
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[her voice sounds distant and distracted as she repeats his question. On some level, she understands what he's asking and what he means, but it's clear that she hasn't fully registered what he's getting at. As she thinks, slowly but surely, the ice fades a little more.]
Why would they leave?
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[he starts out sounding...reassuring, almost, like he's trying to be gentle, but by the end his voice has raised in a mixture of aggravation and desperation. she's frightening him and when he's frightened he becomes cold, like the smuggler in him is coming to the front.]
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But even with all the good that did, she can't help but flinch at his tone by the end of all that. And instead she focuses on how he's feeling over his arguments.]
Are you upset with me? I can stop talking about this, just... stay here with me. Don't leave.
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[he still sounds agitated, but he turns her back toward him much more gently than he did before, leaving his hands on her shoulders. his grip is a little tight, as he's hoping that will keep her in the moment rather than make her obsess over him more.]
Something weird's goin' on here, Leia, I need you to focus. Me or you or your dad or Ben could disappear at any moment and never come back. You already knew that, yeah? There's nothing here for us long term.
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...Right. We can disappear at any moment.
[well, whether or not she's just repeating it or actually believes it is debatable, but her brow is furrowed, and it looks as if she's trying to sort through something there, but isn't quite there yet.]
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We got a lot to live for back home. I know we've had our tough times but at least we're guaranteed to have'em together, alright?
[he thinks about it for a second, then decides to rephrase it in an easier to understand way.]
We'll always be together back home.
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We will.
[she pauses, breaking her attention from him to look at where his hands are holding onto her.]
...Han, are you okay?
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Am--am I okay?
[he sounds a little too calm now, as he looks down and back up like he's searching for some kind of inner strength.]
Am I okay? Well, babe, I gotta say I've been better.
[his voice is mild, quiet, but there's a definite audible strain there.]
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What happened?
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You tell me.
[he says grimly, as he gently pushes her hair aside to better see her neck.]
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Tell you what? I don't know what you're worried about. Would you please talk to me?
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You scared the hell out of me, that's what happened. Do you even remember anything that happened today? Yesterday?
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She doesn't answer him right away, instead taking time to think over his question. Because she remembers parts of it, it isn't a complete blackout. It's just... hazy. Like something isn't quite right about it all, and she wasn't fully acting like herself.]
I remember wanting to be around you, and that I was glad you came back early today.
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[he still sounds worried, even though it seems like the danger has passed. for all he knows she'll have a sudden regression or something.]
And it's like--
[he presses his palm against the spot where the ice was, feeling like it seems a more normal temperature now, and then pulls away and doesn't try to touch her again. which is a touch odd, for him, considering how anxious he sounds.]
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It's like what?
[she's trying to be patient and understanding but as much as she doesn't want to pressure him for information, she really wants to know.]
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Like you were turnin' to ice or something.
[he looks deeply uncomfortable, like something he doesn't understand just happened and it frightened him. which, you know, is exactly what happened.]
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I'm fine now, Han. I don't... know what happened earlier, but I'm fine. I promise.
[well there's no way of telling, but she feels fine, and is absolutely not frozen.]
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