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[Leia furrows her brow, trying to place Depa Billaba's view of the Clone Wars with the others she's heard. She knows her history--the true history, and what the Empire would have the galaxy believe--but what she doesn't know is much about the Jedi's philosophy or why, exactly, that would be entirely controversial.]

The Council, I assume, was far more receptive toward an active role in the war?

[ Kanan shrugs. ]

The Council's official stance was that the Jedi got involved to protect the Republic and its citizens. I assume that was - the majority that agreed with it, but I couldn't tell you how many or which ones disagreed, exactly. I just know my own Master's opinion, because she explained it to me. She didn't believe it was the role of the Jedi to be generals, to give orders, to tell soldiers to kill.

[both sides of that are something Leia can see the reasoning behind, even if her ultimate take on things is biased by the knowledge of what happened to the Jedi. If they hadn’t been involved, if they hadn’t been preoccupied with the Clone Wars, would the Empire have risen in the first place? Who knows.

She’s always heard stories of the Jedi as peacekeepers, coupled with tales of heroics that saved entire populations or allowed and to reach people in need. Even knowing that, obviously, the Jedi were involved in the clone wars and were ordering troops around, it’s still an image that’s hard to blend with that legacy, in her mind.]

I can understand that.

[she may not be a Jedi or want to be one, but—]

The role I have in the Alliance isn’t one I was ever meant to have in the beginning. It isn’t the same situation at all, but it’s not very Alderaanian of me to give those orders, either.

They offered me a formal title, you know.

[ The Rebel Alliance. ]

I turned them down, because my Master was right about the Jedi. I'm committed to helping bring down the Empire, because it's evil and it causes nothing but suffering. But I'm no military commander. That's not my role.

I can't say I'm surprised. You're a good leader.

[~~And the Alliance offers titles to literally everyone, anyway.~~]

Luke accepted a title. He's a Commander, and leader of Rogue Squadron, but it is true he's taken a step back from battle recently.

[When he got more serious about his Jedi training, based on what she's heard from him about what he was doing before.]

[ Kanan nods. ]

Ezra's climbing the ranks, himself. But I leave it to him, and Hera. In my condition - [ He waves a hand vaguely to indicate his blindness. ] - I'm not as good a pilot anymore, for one thing. But... I'm pretty sure the Force has other plans for me. And ultimately, that's what I serve. The Force, and my family.

[yeah that would make being a pilot a bit harder, to say the least. She can completely understand leaving it to Hera and Ezra from that alone.]

I've been learning to step back slightly and focus on myself and my family, but it's difficult.

[Not just because of her own stubborn determination to things she's decided to do, but because her entire life has been dedicated toward helping and improving the lives of others first. So the fact that Kanan can take a step back from the Alliance to focus on his immediate life is impressive, to Leia.]

Hera's a General, you know, in my time.

Finding that balance always is difficult, yes.

[ Kanan stepped back a little too far and nearly paid the price, himself.

But at Leia's next words he can't help but grin a little. ]

I didn't know that, but I'm not surprised. Hera has always been incredible at inspiring people to follow her lead.

Until recently, the Rebellion is all I allowed myself to have.

[As an indication of how difficult it is for her to step back. It's not something she's discussed much here, but also most of the people here already know this, so there's no real point.]

There isn't much I can do to help surviving Alderaanians as one of the Empire's most wanted, so working to end the Empire is the least I could do for them. Focusing on anything else felt like a betrayal, almost.

[ Kanan nods. ]

I can't even imagine what it must be like for you - but I know Hera's always felt the same way. Her people have been through a lot, and she's been fighting almost all her life.

We've all lost a lot to the Empire. And bringing it down is far too heavy a burden for any one person's shoulders.

[ He pauses here a moment, as if trying to find the right words for what he wants to say next. ]

Sometimes, I think just trying to live in spite of it all is worth our focus, though. If we can find even a little bit of happiness, something that's real - that can be an act of defiance, too.

[In spite of the heavy subject, Leia manages a small smile at Kanan's last comment. He's right, and she knows it, even if it's not always a thought she thinks to apply to herself at first.]

Mon said something similar to me not long ago. That I shouldn't close myself off and give up on Han, because that's the sort of thing the Empire would want.

Mon Mothma always seems like she knows what she's talking about.

[ Kanan smiles a little as well. ]

I closed myself off, after I was blinded. I thought they should give up on me. That I was a burden. I was wrong. They still need me, and I need them. We do this together, or not at all.

I'm glad to hear you realized that. Though to their credit, I doubt even you could convince the crew to give up on you no matter how much you try.

[She knows how stubborn Ezra, in particular, can be if he's made up his mind on something, just as she knows how much every member of the Ghost crew cares for each other.]

Yeah, it took a kick in the pants, so to speak, but I think we'll be stronger than ever for it.

[ He pauses again. ]

I was raised to avoid emotional attachments. All the Jedi were. You know, romance, families, it wasn't allowed. Being able to do that is what kept me alive, after the Order fell - I kept to myself and moved around a lot. But not having attachments never made me a good Jedi. Finding the people I love is what did that.

To be honest, I can't understand the emphasis on not having emotional attachments.

[Well she can understand perhaps how it was intended. To encourage impartiality and being able to see the whole picture. Something like that, she imagines, is what was intended thousands and thousands of years ago but got twisted and misconstrued as the years went on.]

Not that I can imagine anyone truly having no emotional attachments of any sort.

It was more complicated than that, really. It always is. The sayings all sound really simple but they're shorthand for really complex ideas.

[ Kanan smiles. ]

Also the Jedi argued a lot, about everything.

Did they?

[She actually sounds just a little incredulous, if only because arguing a lot doesn't seem to fit in the stories with the Jedi she's heard. The behavior of people here isn't something she thought was truly representative of how the Jedi were during the day, given the stresses and unique situation everyone here is in.]

I think that part was left out of the stories I heard while growing up.

Well, it was polite arguing, for the most part.

[ Kanan chuckles. ]

I mean, it's all open to interpretation. The Force is real, and true, and binds us all together. But it's people who've tried to interact with it, who've built philosophies around it. Lots, and lots of people, over thousands of years.

More polite than disagreements in the Senate, I'm sure.

[Anything worse than the Senate isn't something she thinks she can imagine, coming from the Jedi.]

Lots of people whose ideas and interpretations have gotten lost or misinterpreted over the years.

They all seemed pretty polite when I was a kid, but the history of the Jedi is long and rife with bloody conflict.

[ Thousands of years long. Kanan learned about it as a child. Mostly as a cautionary tale. ]

But really, the point is that there are lots of different paths, and lots of ways to serve the Force. I can still be a Jedi without the Order. I can still be a Jedi, and have a family of my own, even.

[It's not so much that she expects Luke to fall into that aspect of the Jedi Order, given who he is and how attached he is to those he cares for, but--]

You should share those ideals with Luke, when you have a chance. I know he'd appreciate more viewpoints than just those of his teachers and any relics he may find.

Of course, I'd be happy to. I hope he and Ezra can spend some time together, too. Neither of them has had as much contact with other Force-sensitives as they should have.

The last time Luke was here, Ezra, Luke, and I did a few tasks together. I know he'd be more than glad to spend time with Ezra this time, as well.

Good. And you know you're always welcome, too, Leia. Whether you want to train your abilities or not, you're a good friend.

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