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[oratorical]

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[oratorical]

Likely not. But it might depend on what the person needed to hear at the moment.

[But really the answer is most likely no.]

I'm not grieving.

[sithkabobed]

You're not allowing yourself to grieve. You're not allowing yourself much of anything.

[Qui-Gon is doing a pretty good job at keeping his frustration at bay, even with the emphasis in his words.]

It isn't an act of selfishness or putting your problems before others' to give yourself that chance.

[oratorical]

[Anyone else would likely agree with Qui-Gon, because he's not wrong, and if Han and Luke and her father were still here, they'd all probably say the same. But it's not how Leia sees it, and there's so much wrapped up in why that even as comfortable as she is using her words, she can't or doesn't want to vocalize it all.

So instead--]

Have you allowed yourself to grieve for what will happen in the future?

[She means the fate of the Jedi. That's just a nicer way to say it, her tone gentle as she asks. Because she's got a point with this.]

[sithkabobed]

[Maybe it's a sign that all of those important people in Leia's life would say!!! The same!!! Thing!!!!!!!]

[Regardless, her question hits home and Qui-Gon ruminates on it with a quiet sigh. He gets what she means, and he has to be honest with her. It's only fair.]

I have.

[Every reminder shoots familiar twinges of pain into his chest, but it's the kind of dull ache that someone gets used to over time. Like the ache in an old man's bones before the rain, or a heavy slump of the shoulders after a long day of work.]

It was difficult, but I have.

[oratorical]

[maybe she's just got too much skywalker stubborn to listen!!!! (well that's not the whole problem here, exactly, but it does get her set in her ways.)

She's silent, waiting patiently for Qui-Gon to gather his thoughts and actually compose an answer. She knows it's just as sensitive a subject for him as this is for her, so she doesn't want to be pushy or harsh in her response.]

Then you'll understand why I'm not there yet. I can't, yet.

[Well she's not sure if she'll ever be there, but that's a different issue. Any troubles of missing people who left here from Verens is nothing compared to what she's already conditioned herself to accept as her reality.]

[sithkabobed]

[There's silence while Qui-Gon considers Leia's words.]

[He can understand her reluctance and how it isn't exactly something she's willingly holding to herself.]

I understand.

But I also understand the benefits that mourning has provided.

I won't push you further [...not that there's much he can do to push her even further like damn, Qui-Gon].

[oratorical]

Does that mean you'll be cleaning up your mess here?

[Because after the end of a serious chat about subjects more personal than space politics, she can't help but want to diffuse things, to make it back to normal so she won't have to think about those issues anymore. And also she's not fond of her sofa becoming the new Jedi Temple, except for only one old space hippie.]

[sithkabobed]

I thought it added character to the place.

[Says the resident smartass.]

[But he catches her drift, and he'll count this as headway.]

However, I'll be sure to leave it as it was.