oratorical: (Default)
Leia "fITE ME" Organa ([personal profile] oratorical) wrote2016-05-05 08:19 pm
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mislighted: (The lonely moments just get lonelier)

[personal profile] mislighted 2016-09-11 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
[Wow. Anakin Skywalker came out to wallow in his personal misery, and he is feeling so attacked right now.

Honestly, he does feel a bit like she slapped him in the face, shocked and a little hurt by it. In fact, he might be more than a "little" hurt, once he lets it sink in. For now, it's hiding beneath a layer of disbelief and anger that she would be so callous.

He stands taller, looking less likely to be shoved over with a strong push and more like a proper Knight, but the anger on his face is nothing like what a Jedi should wear.
]

Even if she wouldn't want it, she's not here to tell me to stop, is she? She's gone, and for all anyone knows, she might be--!

[He can't say "dead", and he clamps his teeth down in a snarl over the words. Saying it out loud is acknowledging it as a real possibility, and he refuses to allow that to happen. She can't be dead, he would never allow it, and he has to keep telling himself that so he doesn't fly over the edge into the dark side. It's a twisted kind of logic, where the only way he can do what she needed him to is to stagnate himself and suffer in a way she'd never approve of.

Sometimes, it's surprises even him how broken he is inside.
]

I love her more than anything. It's not that easy to just stop feeling for her! If I could, I would have done it long before we got this far!
mislighted: (The planets align)

[personal profile] mislighted 2016-09-17 02:06 am (UTC)(link)
[Leia has a point; of course she does. But that's only twisting the knife further, and the air heats and dries out like the deserts of Tatooine. A breeze picks up from nowhere, but it's hard and does nothing to ease the heat.

He's raging, but it's a pathetic kind of anger, aimless and confused because it isn't aimed at someone or something in particular. It's just a hair's breadth away from being despair, if Anakin were being more honest, but denial is his final weapon, and he'll use it long past the point where it's useful.
]

I wasn't planning on going home!

[On the other hand, he can be honest about this, because it's unfair. If he can focus on the unfairness of it, then he can keep some part of his heart from completely breaking.]

We were supposed to stay here, where she could be live! Where we could be happy, away from the war and the Jedi and everything else that's gone wrong back there!

[His voice cracks, like he's used up all the volume he has in him, and now all he has left is barely enough to make it heard.]

And when I go back now, it might not even change anything. She might be lost, all over again.