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[oratorical]

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[lothrat]

No, it's still one or the other. I just don't have to worry about maybe frying the circuits when I switch. [He stops, then hastily adds-] Not that I was that worried. It wasn't a bad a design. Maybe not traditional, at least according to Kanan, but he wouldn't have approved it if there was a real problem with it.

And I didn't see a reason why it couldn't be built that way. It's just a power source and wiring and components that you can arrange however you like. Let me tell you, it's handy, being able to use it without people realizing I'm a Jedi.

[Leia of all people should understand why he'd want to hide that fact.]

Same goes for surprising someone who doesn't think I can blast them back.

[oratorical]

I should have thought of something like that myself.

[It's not something she means to send, but it's sent anyway thanks to the magic of telepathy. Because she certainly would've been more comfortable with something that could also serve as a blaster instead of just a lightsaber.]

So he didn't actually do anything to your lightsaber? Did he explain why?

[lothrat]

[Ezra starts in surprise, strongly enough for Leia to feel it. Did she just...?]

You're making a lightsaber?

[Why would she...?]

No, he didn't. He just... I don't know why he did it.

[He didn't really give Anakin the chance to explain.]

Unless it was part of his apology.

[oratorical]

[Her surprise matches his own--both as a reaction to his surprise, and because she hadn't meant for that bit of information to be released. And it's a long story, and not one she wants to have to explain in detail just yet. But she knows Ezra likely won't let it go, so she offers the most simple response she can--]

It's already made.

[--before changing subjects.]

But that doesn't make sense. Darth Vader wouldn't apologize even if his life depended on it.

[lothrat]

Wait, that means- Are you Force-sensitive? Like me?

[You're right, Leia. Ezra's not going to let it go. But not because of the weapon itself. More for what it means.]

Now you get why I'm so confused. I mean, I get that he's from before I met him, but I never thought about what Vader might have been like before he killed the Jedi. I guess I always thought he was always like that. I never thought he used to have anything good in him.

[oratorical]

...I am. But it's not something I've explored back home.

[And even here, were she not convinced she could use it to defend herself and her family here when needed, she likely wouldn't have considered learning about it. She's not fond of the Force and doesn't like relying on it or using it at all, since her direct experience with it outside of Luke is from Vader.]

I'd be careful if that's how you're planning on thinking about this. I can't believe he doesn't have an ulterior motive with this apology, and I wouldn't let your guard down merely because he returned your lightsaber.

[lothrat]

Are you exploring it here? Because I could help you.

[Does Ezra sound like an excited kid there? Because that's definitely what he is. Finding out you share something this big with someone you know is a pretty big thing for him!]

Oh, don't worry, Leia. I'm still going to be careful. But... You know, maybe he's like Maul. Maul's this old master I met who used to be Dark, but he changed and now he's helping us. Maybe we can pull Anakin away from the Dark Side, too. We could defeat Vader without having to fight!

[oratorical]

I was training with Obi-Wan Kenobi for a while, but I haven't had time for lessons lately.

[And by lately, that means since like October when Hurricane Ren made landfall. Her response is a bit hesitant, because that really is some excitement, Ezra, and she's not entirely sure how to take it. She understands his excitement, certainly, but Ezra is someone who wants to be a Jedi. Leia is the opposite.

And that hesitation doesn't disappear with his answer about helping pull Anakin from the Dark Side. Not just because she believes the worst in Anakin, but also because something about Maul sounds questionable to her. She doesn't know the name or who he is, but it sounds almost too good to be true.]

He changed. You're sure of that?

[lothrat]

Oof, I know about being busy. If you want, we could double it up and do something else at the same time. Consider it the same as hanging out with me. Or... You ever sign up for stuff on the Task Board? We could do that together sometime.

[He is not to be deterred! If he can find time to train as a Jedi while fighting with the Rebels, he's sure they can work out something here!]

I'm sure. I had to trust him with my life, literally, and he didn't let me fall, and right before I came here, he was helping us fight the Inquisitors who found us on Malachor.

[oratorical]

It certainly sounds more fun than meditating.

[She's teasing, naturally, her tone lighter and more friendly when she replies with that. Because it doesn't sound like a bad idea, if only for the chance to spend more time with a friend. Not that she doesn't see the value in meditating, but she had done so much of that with Obi-Wan, and it's not her most favorite activity. She'd rather actually be doing things instead of sitting still.

But that friendly tone drops to one more cautious and more closed off as soon as the subject of the dark side comes back.]

I don't know Maul, but as far as I'm concerned, with Anakin, the Dark Side is always there, underneath whatever face he's putting on. I have no reason to think otherwise, especially after everything he's done in our times. It has to come from somewhere.

[lothrat]

Way more fun than meditating.

[Ezra says that with all the fervent passion of a padawan who's been assigned all too many of his own meditation exercises.]

And it'll be useful in more than one way. We'll have fun and we can both learn, and we'll get paid for it!

[There is absolutely no downside that he can see.]

As for Anakin, I'll handle it. If there's something he's hiding, I'll just keep my eyes open. But if there's even a chance here, I want to take it. [Some of his enthusiasm fades at this point, replaced with something more sober. Despite his optimism, he is still taking this seriously.] I've faced Darth Vader before, Leia. I can't take him. Not on my own, not with Kanan. Maybe not with anyone here. But we have to stop him somehow. If there's another way, I'm willing to do what it takes.

[oratorical]

[Teasing and joking about meditating and taking on tasks is forgotten in favor of focusing on Ezra's latest horrible idea. Leia easily falls back into a more stern, no-nonsense sort of tone. Because that's what this is: nonsense. And Leia won't stand for it from Ezra.]

I've faced Darth Vader before, as well, on more than one occasion. Do you know what happened?

[It's a rhetorical question, since she knows for a fact Ezra can guess if he doesn't already know what happens when you meet up with Vader back home.]

You will not handle it. He already attacked you once, who's to say what he'll do next? I don't want you getting injured again.

[lothrat]

[Ezra can guess, and his eyes flicker with worry over her, even though she's clearly fine now.

Worry or not, though, he's not going to just give up before he's even started. Leia may not know him very well, but she should know him better than that.]

So I should just back down and keep running every time I see him? Instead of doing something about it? Leia, I can't- I won't live like that.

Besides, this isn't just about what he might do to me. It's about what he might do to everyone here. If someone doesn't do something, who's to say who else he might end up hurting?

[oratorical]

[Well that's the advice she gave to Luke before, so it's not like she thinks that's completely outrageous advice. Even if she knows it's different here and that there are only so many places you can run to hide from Vader, as opposed to thousands upon thousands of planets back home.]

And how long will you be living if you run into him and try to fight him on your own?

[Because realistically if Anakin were ready to fight, there's not much time to call for help.]

Death may not function the same way here, but that doesn't mean you should freely risk your life that often. He hunts the remaining Jedi, doesn't he? He may be acting almost kind now, but how long before he falls back into those orders?

[lothrat]

I'm not looking to fight him at all! That's the point!

[Deep breath. He's earnest, but he's not looking to pick a fight here. Leia's just trying to look out for him. That's what friends do for each other.]

Look, think of it like this. We joined the Rebellion, both of us, because we were tired of the Empire pushing us around, tired of seeing people hurt and scared, tired of putting up with everyone suffering. [There's an underlying anger that heats his voice for a moment there, but stubborn determination's more prevalent.] This is just more of the same.

But there wouldn't even be a Rebellion if people weren't willing to take any risks. This is me, taking a risk for something that could make such a difference if it works. Don't I owe it to everyone out there, and at home, to at least be willing to try?

[oratorical]

[It's not that she doesn't know how Ezra feels, because she does. She feels the same way herself. Putting aside her more complicated reasons for joining the Rebellion in the first place, she still feels the same about the Empire. But that said--]

Being willing to take risks is only half of it, Ezra. The other half is knowing when to take those risks and when to be concerned about your own safety.

[Not that she thinks other people here that don't know about Anakin and may unwittingly put themselves at risk aren't important.]

It's not just a game. Billions of people have died during the Rebellion, and we may not like it, but difficult calls have to be made. Do you really think Darth Vader can be held off without a fight?

[lothrat]

I know it's not a game.

[Ezra's irritation rankles across the connection.]

I'm not a kid just playing around. Don't treat me that way.

And I'm hoping I don't have to hold Darth Vader off. I'm hoping to reach Anakin Skywalker instead. If it doesn't work, then it doesn't work, and I'll figure out something else to do next.

[oratorical]

That's not what I meant. The Rebellion has changed between our times. There's a lot that's happened that you don't know yet.

[largely because she hasn't shared it with him, because she doesn't like discussing it.]

What I'm telling you is that Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader are one and the same. That sort of darkness doesn't come out of nowhere. It had to have always been there.

[lothrat]

Then by that same argument, the light that was there had to come from somewhere, too! Leia, he was a hero! He was a Jedi and he inspired hope and people admired him!

[He had admired him.]

I may not know what happens in the future, but I do know what happens when people give up hope. If I can't hope that the Light can win, then what am I even trying to be a Jedi for?

[oratorical]

Hoping for a triumph over the Empire is completely different than hoping Darth Vader still has a shred of humanity left inside him.

[Even if it's technically still Anakin they're talking about, before all the armor and the heavy breathing. But Leia doesn't care about that technicality.]

Jedi are meant to destroy the Sith. And if that light is still in him, doesn't that just make things worse? Knowing he committed the atrocities he carried out while knowing full well they were the wrong thing to do.

[lothrat]

This isn't different. This is both.

[Argh, this is so frustrating. Ezra rakes his fingers through his hair, half tempted to pull on it. Part of him wants to laugh that he's even having this argument at all, that he's arguing for the hope of good in Darth Vader, but part of him...

Part of him wants to believe that the Dark Side doesn't have to win on any battleground - even the battleground of Darth Vader's soul. Now that the idea is there, presented by Anakin himself and supported by Obi-Wan, and by Ezra's own experience with Maul, not just pulled out of thin air, he can't bring himself to let it go.]

Leia, I've got to try. Even if it's just to say that I did try. I want to beat the Sith as much as you do. [His voice hardens.] Trust me, I want them to pay. But if I have a chance to stop those atrocities before they can happen, I'm taking it. A Jedi's mission is to protect life first, not seek revenge.

Besides, if he stops being Vader, then that counts as destroying that Sith.

[oratorical]

[She thinks it's a futile effort and that Ezra is just wasting his time. Luke may have claimed to bring Anakin back to the light, but as far as Leia cares, it didn't do much of anything. He only turned to the light for Luke, and that light was nowhere to be found when she needed it. Her own irritation with Ezra's choices comes through loud and clear, even if she may not want it to.]

Even if it were possible, stopping or delaying his turn in his time will do nothing for our time. No matter how good he may pretend to be here, and no matter how determined you and any other Jedi are to prevent his turn, it won't change what we've already experienced. It won't save Alderaan. As far as I care, Anakin Skywalker is a lost cause.

[lothrat]

Even if it doesn't benefit me, that's no reason not to try anyway. Turning him back would save someone out there at least some of the pain we had, so as far as I'm concerned, it's still worth it. It-

Wait, what do you mean, it won't save Alderaan?

[Leia may not have intended to snag his attention like that, but that's certainly what just happened.]

[oratorical]

I told you that the Rebellion had changed in between our times. That's just one of many reasons why.

[She'll explain if pushed, but for obvious reasons, it's not one she wants to dwell on.]

[lothrat]

[He might have been willing to drop the subject about almost any other world. The future is a headache they've already agreed to leave mostly untouched. But Alderaan in particular has a significance that only Lothal can match.

He has a friend there. He hasn't seen her for more than a year, but she's there.]

What happened to Alderaan?