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[After this and this.]

[Ezra's "voice" comes across as a little lackluster, empathetic but borderline depressed. It hasn't been a good past few days for him since Ahsoka disappeared. Still, he saw Leia's warning, and Anakin's response, and he can guess she's having a rough time, too.]

Are you okay?

Edited 2017-10-06 01:58 (UTC)

[She notices that tone in Ezra's voice, and in true Leia fashion when she doesn't want to talk about herself, that's what she focuses on.]

It sounds as if I should be asking you that.

[If voice could convey a halfhearted shrug, that's what Leia would be seeing right now.]

I- no. I think Ahsoka went home.

[But there's not much that can be done about that.]

I'm sorry to hear it.

[And she does genuinely mean it, too.]

I didn't know Ahsoka very well here, but I think she and Han were close. He hired her to work on the Hawk.

Will you let him know for me? I... I haven't really wanted to talk about it with anyone, and Han and I...

[Well. Leia can probably guess that that conversation would be awkward.)

I'll be sure to tell him, if he isn't aware already. I won't make you talk to him yourself.

[~~unless she learns it was Ezra impersonating him, then it's a different story.~~]

[~~Yeah, Ezra's not bringing that up.~~]

Thanks.

He might already know, I guess. What with...

[Then again, maybe it's not a good idea to bring up Anakin's message.

Except isn't that half the reason why he called her?]

...you sure you're okay, Leia?

Edited 2017-10-06 03:14 (UTC)

I don't regret my actions, if that's what you mean.

[Well no it's not an answer, but that's the answer he's getting for now.]

Wasn't expecting you to.

[And he's not going to ask her to regret them, either, even if he's not sure if this will make it even harder than before to try to keep Anakin from turning. He knows where she was coming from, giving out that warning, and he can't entirely blame her. Anakin's breakdown had been disturbing, and that's not even counting her history with Vader.]

I just mean... I know you didn't want people to know.

[Well no she didn't want people to know. Still doesn't want people to know. Her hopes are relying on people being distracted by the rest of Anakin's annoying nonsense to pick up on that one word. There's a quick feeling of anger, panic and helplessness before it's clamped down on as Leia responds.]

I didn't expect him to just sit back and do nothing.

[But she expected more of him trying to hunt her down and scream at her and threaten her again. Which would be bad, but she'd rather that be focused at her than anyone else who wasn't aware of who Anakin is.]

But it does not give him a right to call me that.

For what it's worth, I don't think very many people here will care.

[He knows that's one of the things that she was worried about.]

You already know how I feel.

Perhaps not.

[Not to the extent anyone back home would, at least, but that's not much reassurance really.]

I'd rather not have to explain myself to anyone who brings it up.

So don't. You don't owe them an explanation.

If I don't answer, they'll go to Anakin with their questions.

[Questions he's not qualified to answer and clearly possesses no understanding of how things actually are or how Leia sees them.]

[Ezra frowns, seeing the trap Leia's caught in there.]

Well, you still don't have to tell them everything. It's none of their business anyway.

[Even he doesn't know everything, he's sure, and he knows she's told him a lot about what happens in the future.]

I'm sure there's more even I don't know. And honestly, I have no interest in finding out. I never really cared much about it.

[it being finding things out about her birth parents, that is. She has Bail and Breha, and they're all the parents she could ever need or want. And while there's some curiosity there now, more on the side of learning about Padme than Anakin, she'd be happier if things were like relative strangers between her and Anakin.]

[Ezra makes a noise that's not entirely agreement, but not exactly an argument either. It's a dissatisfied sound born from his own confused bias of having both loving birth parents and an adopted "family" of sorts that he wouldn't want to give up either.]

Even your birth mom?

[He gets why she wants to disclaim Anakin, but he doesn't really know anything about her birth mother.]

I already have a mother. It feels disrespectful to consider another person such.

[Even if it's her birth mother, even if she has slight memories of her which she can only assume is the Force's doing, it doesn't matter. Her parents are the Organas; they're all she could have wanted and more.]

It's not as if I don't know who she is now, but she's not my mother any more than Anakin is my father.

[Well, literally they are, yes, but they aren't who Leia considers her mother and father, and that's what matters more if you ask her.]

Edited 2017-10-16 02:13 (UTC)

I guess I don't understand why you can't have both. I love my parents, but I also... Kanan and Hera... [There's audible awkwardness in his voice when it comes to defining his relationship to the two Rebels who've taken something like a parental role in his life. Doesn't help that he's never exactly addressed it with them either.

He finally gives up and just plows on.]

They can't replace my parents, but they're still important to me. I don't think my parents would feel betrayed by that.

I don't want both.

[is essentially what it boils down to, for Leia. Does she want to know more about Padme? Yes. But does she consider her her mother? Not at all. Mother is and always will be a name reserved for Breha Organa alone.]

What you have with Kanan and Hera isn't entirely the same. You have parents that you knew before them, whereas mine either were or may as well have been dead. I was never concerned with knowing of people I wouldn't have a chance to meet when I already had parents.

[which sounds cold, perhaps, but it's how she genuinely feels about her adoption situation. The only thing she would have wanted to change is knowing about Luke earlier.]

I was adopted because my parents were unable to have children, you know.

Would it be different if you did have a chance to meet them? Er... I mean your birth mom?

[Awkward slip caused by talking about his parents, plural, then switching focus from him to her.]

Would you give her a chance?

[He doesn't know that she's already met Padme.]

We did meet. She was here a year or so ago.

[and that's part of why her feelings on Padme are also complicated. She's not Anakin, but she's not someone Leia actually knows how to get along with. Because Padme wanted the four of them to be a happy family, and Leia couldn't give her that, which Padme took offense to.]

[Ezra blinks, some of his surprise filtering through the connection.]

And you still feel the same way? You don't want any relationship with her at all?

[...which implies there's a reason.]

...what did she do?

It's not that I don't want to know her. It's that I can't give her the relationship she wants from me.

[Because she has a mother, and she can't bring herself to consider or call another woman that. Not after having everything she could have wanted and more from Breha Organa.]

[Ezra chews on that for a moment. He's trying to see her point of view, really, but it still just doesn't feel right.]

What if your kid didn't want a relationship with you?

10/5 - voice

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