[When she says the word "Hutt", his face twists with something almost on the level of hatred before he shoves it back. He knows he looks bad, but still, that's still a foul word to him. He needs to get it together, if he's getting comments like that, but it's so difficult to muster the energy to care.
This is one of the few times she's actually spoken to him without being trapped in a room with him, though. Or is it actually the first? It's too good of an opportunity to pass up, so he lets the comment slide without flinching.]
Smeeleeya whao toupee upee, Leia. I can't argue with that, this time.
[He shrugs and tries for a smile, but it only manages to hit "grimace" levels.]
I haven't been back to the apartment in a while, that's all.
[He avoids going to their apartment whenever he can get away with it, sleeping in short bursts on Takashi and Obi-Wan's couches. It's definitely showing after a few weeks of it.]
[While she notices that brief flash of hatred, she's distracted enough by his sudden use of Huttese that it doesn't fully register. Instead, a similar look of extreme contempt crosses Leia's own features. Huttese may not be a language she's all that fluent in, but by now she's picked up a few words, and "smile" is almost certainly one of them.]
You almost ran right into me. Who knows what you could do next?
[which is to say, she doesn't quite believe that explanation is the whole story here.]
[Trying to make Leia laugh is not something he's going to manage, clearly, so he decides to take her silence on the matter as a hint he should stop trying. That look is enough to sour milk, and he'd rather not have to face it twice in one conversation.]
Are you expecting me to collapse in the street? I'm not that far gone.
[He might be holding himself up partially with the Force, but he's dealt with worse. You get used to that sort of non-stop fatigue after a while, when you're in a war.
Besides, he's trying his best to ignore the implication that he could fly off the handle just because he's looking worse for wear, no matter how true it might be.]
[If non-stop fatigue in war time is something you want to talk about, Leia is probably one of the galaxy's leading experts. Having that familiarity and knowing full well how to mask it and seem less exhausted than you really are, Leia can guess Anakin is either truly that exhausted or is faking it for sympathy points. She's not sure which would be worse, especially when that implication he's trying to ignore is the main thing she's worried about.
She gives a small, noncommittal shrug at his question, before she sighs, closing her eyes and pursing her lips as she decides just what she wants to say to that. In any other situation, she absolutely would hit him with the Darth Vader comment, knowing what she knows now, but the whole reason she's speaking to him this one time is because she figures she owes it to Padme this once.]
What I mean is, for whatever reason, Padme cared a great deal about you. [something she made sure Leia knew, hence their last fight.]
If you weren't so self-absorbed and intent upon wallowing in your own misery, you would realize she wouldn't want you behaving like this.
[or at least, she assumes. She may not be nice, but it's nicer than calling him a Sith Lord at least. Anakin's mood is the last thing she cares about, and he can mope around all he likes for all she cares, but if there's any risk of Vader, she would rather him cut it out. Which is why she's trying this, hoping it will be like a slap to the face and get him to stop.]
[Wow. Anakin Skywalker came out to wallow in his personal misery, and he is feeling so attacked right now.
Honestly, he does feel a bit like she slapped him in the face, shocked and a little hurt by it. In fact, he might be more than a "little" hurt, once he lets it sink in. For now, it's hiding beneath a layer of disbelief and anger that she would be so callous.
He stands taller, looking less likely to be shoved over with a strong push and more like a proper Knight, but the anger on his face is nothing like what a Jedi should wear.]
Even if she wouldn't want it, she's not here to tell me to stop, is she? She's gone, and for all anyone knows, she might be--!
[He can't say "dead", and he clamps his teeth down in a snarl over the words. Saying it out loud is acknowledging it as a real possibility, and he refuses to allow that to happen. She can't be dead, he would never allow it, and he has to keep telling himself that so he doesn't fly over the edge into the dark side. It's a twisted kind of logic, where the only way he can do what she needed him to is to stagnate himself and suffer in a way she'd never approve of.
Sometimes, it's surprises even him how broken he is inside.]
I love her more than anything. It's not that easy to just stop feeling for her! If I could, I would have done it long before we got this far!
[That's a scary face, Anakin, and it's one Leia doesn't like seeing. Not that she likes seeing his face on the best of days anyway, but this look in particular is not one she ever wants to see. But aside from a dip in the temperature, Leia's initial flash of fear from his reaction doesn't show outwardly at all. Instead, she looks angrier than before (before, she had only been irritated by his wallowing), her voice raised to match his.]
I didn't say stop feeling for her! You aren't the only one here who cares for her, or that she cares about!
[Ah. Leia lecturing someone on how to deal with their feelings. That's a funny coincidence. But at least bottling your feelings is healthier than turning into a Sith Lord.]
You, at least, get to see her when you return home.
[Leia has a point; of course she does. But that's only twisting the knife further, and the air heats and dries out like the deserts of Tatooine. A breeze picks up from nowhere, but it's hard and does nothing to ease the heat.
He's raging, but it's a pathetic kind of anger, aimless and confused because it isn't aimed at someone or something in particular. It's just a hair's breadth away from being despair, if Anakin were being more honest, but denial is his final weapon, and he'll use it long past the point where it's useful.]
I wasn't planning on going home!
[On the other hand, he can be honest about this, because it's unfair. If he can focus on the unfairness of it, then he can keep some part of his heart from completely breaking.]
We were supposed to stay here, where she could be live! Where we could be happy, away from the war and the Jedi and everything else that's gone wrong back there!
[His voice cracks, like he's used up all the volume he has in him, and now all he has left is barely enough to make it heard.]
And when I go back now, it might not even change anything. She might be lost, all over again.
Even you can't be so deluded as to think you can control something like that. You can't plan whether you stay any more than you can plan when you leave.
[If they could, she has no doubt she would have returned home by now, as would Han probably. There were benefits to being here, things she didn't dislike, getting to know Padme being one of those benefits. But even with her determination to learn more about the future she doesn't want to happen, to get to know more about her son, and spend time with Han and Luke without any of them having their lives in danger, Leia still wants to go home.
As for that last comment, that possibility that nothing will change hits too close to home. And of course, since this is Anakin she's talking with, she doesn't allow any indication of those feelings to show. Instead, she crosses her arms and stares at him, as if daring him to argue with that point.]
Instead of moping, do something. I'm sure Luke wouldn't mind talking with you.
[His problems aren't anything she cares about, it's true. But at least finishing this, seeing if he actually is any danger the way he is now (she's leaning toward yes, but she always does) is something she feels she owes Padme.]
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This is one of the few times she's actually spoken to him without being trapped in a room with him, though. Or is it actually the first? It's too good of an opportunity to pass up, so he lets the comment slide without flinching.]
Smeeleeya whao toupee upee, Leia. I can't argue with that, this time.
[He shrugs and tries for a smile, but it only manages to hit "grimace" levels.]
I haven't been back to the apartment in a while, that's all.
[He avoids going to their apartment whenever he can get away with it, sleeping in short bursts on Takashi and Obi-Wan's couches. It's definitely showing after a few weeks of it.]
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You almost ran right into me. Who knows what you could do next?
[which is to say, she doesn't quite believe that explanation is the whole story here.]
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Are you expecting me to collapse in the street? I'm not that far gone.
[He might be holding himself up partially with the Force, but he's dealt with worse. You get used to that sort of non-stop fatigue after a while, when you're in a war.
Besides, he's trying his best to ignore the implication that he could fly off the handle just because he's looking worse for wear, no matter how true it might be.]
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She gives a small, noncommittal shrug at his question, before she sighs, closing her eyes and pursing her lips as she decides just what she wants to say to that. In any other situation, she absolutely would hit him with the Darth Vader comment, knowing what she knows now, but the whole reason she's speaking to him this one time is because she figures she owes it to Padme this once.]
What I mean is, for whatever reason, Padme cared a great deal about you. [something she made sure Leia knew, hence their last fight.]
If you weren't so self-absorbed and intent upon wallowing in your own misery, you would realize she wouldn't want you behaving like this.
[or at least, she assumes. She may not be nice, but it's nicer than calling him a Sith Lord at least. Anakin's mood is the last thing she cares about, and he can mope around all he likes for all she cares, but if there's any risk of Vader, she would rather him cut it out. Which is why she's trying this, hoping it will be like a slap to the face and get him to stop.]
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Honestly, he does feel a bit like she slapped him in the face, shocked and a little hurt by it. In fact, he might be more than a "little" hurt, once he lets it sink in. For now, it's hiding beneath a layer of disbelief and anger that she would be so callous.
He stands taller, looking less likely to be shoved over with a strong push and more like a proper Knight, but the anger on his face is nothing like what a Jedi should wear.]
Even if she wouldn't want it, she's not here to tell me to stop, is she? She's gone, and for all anyone knows, she might be--!
[He can't say "dead", and he clamps his teeth down in a snarl over the words. Saying it out loud is acknowledging it as a real possibility, and he refuses to allow that to happen. She can't be dead, he would never allow it, and he has to keep telling himself that so he doesn't fly over the edge into the dark side. It's a twisted kind of logic, where the only way he can do what she needed him to is to stagnate himself and suffer in a way she'd never approve of.
Sometimes, it's surprises even him how broken he is inside.]
I love her more than anything. It's not that easy to just stop feeling for her! If I could, I would have done it long before we got this far!
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I didn't say stop feeling for her! You aren't the only one here who cares for her, or that she cares about!
[Ah. Leia lecturing someone on how to deal with their feelings. That's a funny coincidence. But at least bottling your feelings is healthier than turning into a Sith Lord.]
You, at least, get to see her when you return home.
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He's raging, but it's a pathetic kind of anger, aimless and confused because it isn't aimed at someone or something in particular. It's just a hair's breadth away from being despair, if Anakin were being more honest, but denial is his final weapon, and he'll use it long past the point where it's useful.]
I wasn't planning on going home!
[On the other hand, he can be honest about this, because it's unfair. If he can focus on the unfairness of it, then he can keep some part of his heart from completely breaking.]
We were supposed to stay here, where she could be live! Where we could be happy, away from the war and the Jedi and everything else that's gone wrong back there!
[His voice cracks, like he's used up all the volume he has in him, and now all he has left is barely enough to make it heard.]
And when I go back now, it might not even change anything. She might be lost, all over again.
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[If they could, she has no doubt she would have returned home by now, as would Han probably. There were benefits to being here, things she didn't dislike, getting to know Padme being one of those benefits. But even with her determination to learn more about the future she doesn't want to happen, to get to know more about her son, and spend time with Han and Luke without any of them having their lives in danger, Leia still wants to go home.
As for that last comment, that possibility that nothing will change hits too close to home. And of course, since this is Anakin she's talking with, she doesn't allow any indication of those feelings to show. Instead, she crosses her arms and stares at him, as if daring him to argue with that point.]
Instead of moping, do something. I'm sure Luke wouldn't mind talking with you.
[His problems aren't anything she cares about, it's true. But at least finishing this, seeing if he actually is any danger the way he is now (she's leaning toward yes, but she always does) is something she feels she owes Padme.]