Leia "fITE ME" Organa (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
oratorical) wrote2016-05-05 08:19 pm
oratorical) wrote2016-05-05 08:19 pm
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IC Contact
Make a note to specify whichever you want
Make a note to specify whichever you want
[ Kanan can only laugh at that - the idea that Princess Leia could possibly be a deficient host, for someone like him, and the experiences he's had - absurd. ]
Yeah, the lack of Med-droids and bacta tanks is off-putting about this place. They seem to do all right without them, but that doesn't make it less weird. I know how a bacta tank works. I'm not sure about the stuff they do here.
Yeah, the lack of Med-droids and bacta tanks is off-putting about this place. They seem to do all right without them, but that doesn't make it less weird. I know how a bacta tank works. I'm not sure about the stuff they do here.
[It's a long story, to say the least, but Leia is patient and listens as Eleanor tries to explain. Even though she isn't sure where, between all that drunken explanation, this story is actually leading.
She does make a mental note to reach out again and thank those Eleanor lives with for their efforts to ensure Eleanor managed to eat and survive during this time.]
I may not know Hibiki at all, but I do feel like she wouldn't want you working yourself this hard to make something for her.
She does make a mental note to reach out again and thank those Eleanor lives with for their efforts to ensure Eleanor managed to eat and survive during this time.]
I may not know Hibiki at all, but I do feel like she wouldn't want you working yourself this hard to make something for her.
[She shakes her head. Even after experienced medical technology here first-hand, it's still so archaic compared to what she's used to that she just doesn't get how it's meant to work, and how they haven't found anything better yet.]
No part of it makes much sense, compared with what we're used to. But if it works for the locals here, I suppose that matters more.
[It's them that have to live here with this sort of technology permanently, after all, not the otherworlders.]
But we should talk inside.
No part of it makes much sense, compared with what we're used to. But if it works for the locals here, I suppose that matters more.
[It's them that have to live here with this sort of technology permanently, after all, not the otherworlders.]
But we should talk inside.
[... Oh. Well, that just takes her down an entirely different path. ]
Of course she wouldn't if she knew, dear! But she mustn't know, that's the thing. She mustn't worry about something like that. She's been through so much! If I can't at least do this for her, after-- it's so stupid, Leia. It's... utterly, it's just a blanket. That's -- that's all I -- I -- I -- I couldn't save her. That's the least I can do for her now. Isn't it just awful?! It's all I can do, it's a blanket, and sometimes I just, I say to myself, is it a blanket, is it a shroud, what am I doing? What... am I doing. She deserves so much better. I shouldn't even be...
[ There's a brief picture flash, of the blanket in question, but it just seems to unravel as Eleanor's words do. ]
Of course she wouldn't if she knew, dear! But she mustn't know, that's the thing. She mustn't worry about something like that. She's been through so much! If I can't at least do this for her, after-- it's so stupid, Leia. It's... utterly, it's just a blanket. That's -- that's all I -- I -- I -- I couldn't save her. That's the least I can do for her now. Isn't it just awful?! It's all I can do, it's a blanket, and sometimes I just, I say to myself, is it a blanket, is it a shroud, what am I doing? What... am I doing. She deserves so much better. I shouldn't even be...
[ There's a brief picture flash, of the blanket in question, but it just seems to unravel as Eleanor's words do. ]
[It may not be the something strange Eleanor mentioned before, but this response, this is what Leia feels is the heart of her friend's issues tonight. And what has been the heart of the problem since her old house burned down.]
No. It's not all you can do.
[It's not just empty comfort, it's something she knows is true.]
Making this blanket, it works to keep you occupied, but as much as Hibiki would love the blanket and the care you put into it, I'm sure it's not what she'd need or want the most. What you can do, what you're good at doing, is being there for her. What happened wasn't your fault, and I don't think she's the type to place blame where it isn't warranted.
No. It's not all you can do.
[It's not just empty comfort, it's something she knows is true.]
Making this blanket, it works to keep you occupied, but as much as Hibiki would love the blanket and the care you put into it, I'm sure it's not what she'd need or want the most. What you can do, what you're good at doing, is being there for her. What happened wasn't your fault, and I don't think she's the type to place blame where it isn't warranted.
Of course it's my fault, Leia. She was there. That house was my responsibility, just like -- just like that other one, only this time it wasn't because of anyone else, that it was such a horrible place. It was my horrible place that I deserved and I should have been there. If I was there, then -- I don't know. I don't know what would have happened, it was my house. I would have been there.
[ But the words don't stop, she can't stop them from just, tumbling out. ]
She was afraid of that house, you know, I held her as she cried in my kitchen one day because she was so afraid and tormented from the reminders of being there with Pride and. And I thought, well, maybe, maybe moving here was okay, because now she wouldn't ever have a reason to go there ever again and get so frightened. Except -- she went there! And I... I couldn't save her. I couldn't save her. I pulled her out of that house, I held her, and then she ... she was gone. She was gone, Leia. How can I even go over to see her now? How could anyone allow that?! All she'll remember is -- is slipping away like that, in my arms, and being in that, awful smoke in that awful place and I just -- I can't do that to her. She's been through too much.
[ But the words don't stop, she can't stop them from just, tumbling out. ]
She was afraid of that house, you know, I held her as she cried in my kitchen one day because she was so afraid and tormented from the reminders of being there with Pride and. And I thought, well, maybe, maybe moving here was okay, because now she wouldn't ever have a reason to go there ever again and get so frightened. Except -- she went there! And I... I couldn't save her. I couldn't save her. I pulled her out of that house, I held her, and then she ... she was gone. She was gone, Leia. How can I even go over to see her now? How could anyone allow that?! All she'll remember is -- is slipping away like that, in my arms, and being in that, awful smoke in that awful place and I just -- I can't do that to her. She's been through too much.
[ Kanan nods, allowing her to wave him inside. It's not too cold out, but he won't turn down the hospitality. ]
I hope Ezra's warning helped a bit - he's always been prone to visions and it can be tough to get him to slow down and think rationally about them.
I hope Ezra's warning helped a bit - he's always been prone to visions and it can be tough to get him to slow down and think rationally about them.
[It's not like Leia can't understand this feeling. She can and she does, even if the reason she understands isn't quite the same as a child being trapped inside the burning remains of your old house. But the sentiment, she knows, is similar, as she listens to Eleanor's thoughts continue to flood out from her.]
What happened was the fault of a local with an unwarranted grudge against you, not anything you did.
[If Eleanor had been there at the time, well, all Leia could see was her getting caught up in the fire and suffering the same fate, but that's not a subject Leia wants to get into just now.]
I can't imagine Hibiki or anyone else will hold an accident that isn't your fault against you. And I also don't think it's fair to her for you to decide for her whether she wants to see you.
What happened was the fault of a local with an unwarranted grudge against you, not anything you did.
[If Eleanor had been there at the time, well, all Leia could see was her getting caught up in the fire and suffering the same fate, but that's not a subject Leia wants to get into just now.]
I can't imagine Hibiki or anyone else will hold an accident that isn't your fault against you. And I also don't think it's fair to her for you to decide for her whether she wants to see you.
[Inebriation doesn't often give way to logic, unfortunately. But that bubbly, airy tone she had at the start of all this was long gone now, the connection practically weighted down by the shift in emotions.]
What's fair? I'm certain she feels guilty just because we're all worried about her as it is. And, besides all of that, I - I do know how she is when she's faced with painful reminders. She... she may even think that she must see me and... that just wouldn't do. Not right away. She's already been hurt so much. She shouldn't have to deal with that on top of dying! She has enough to deal with right now!
What's fair? I'm certain she feels guilty just because we're all worried about her as it is. And, besides all of that, I - I do know how she is when she's faced with painful reminders. She... she may even think that she must see me and... that just wouldn't do. Not right away. She's already been hurt so much. She shouldn't have to deal with that on top of dying! She has enough to deal with right now!
[Leia gently guides Kanan over to where the couch is, past what slight remains of the once-great Solo Junk Pile haven't managed to be tamed. It's a good thing Kanan can't see it, honestly.]
He has visions regularly?
He has visions regularly?
And what if she wants to see you? Would you not grant her that, even if asked?
Why... why are you asking me this? It hasn't even happened... I don't... I don't want her to be bothered even thinking about that, when she can be safe at home in her little bed with everyone to take care of her there.
That's why I'm asking.
[To make Eleanor think, really. As much as she's able to think clearly in the state she's currently in.]
You're blaming yourself and making assumptions that aren't true.
[To make Eleanor think, really. As much as she's able to think clearly in the state she's currently in.]
You're blaming yourself and making assumptions that aren't true.
[She's been blaming herself for so long... even in this state of mind, it's not just something she can shake.]
...If I had gotten there sooner... I ran, as soon as she called to me, you know. I was already on my way there. If I had left earlier, I might have seen something, I might have been able to get help faster, something.
...If I had gotten there sooner... I ran, as soon as she called to me, you know. I was already on my way there. If I had left earlier, I might have seen something, I might have been able to get help faster, something.
[ Kanan still isn't really a fan of being led anywhere like he's feeble or something. But that's his own personal hangup, and not Leia's fault or problem, so he doesn't complain, simply allows it. ]
Nobody has visions regularly. But some are more prone to them than others. Why, I don't know. It might just be that - like everything else - people have different talents and strengths.
Nobody has visions regularly. But some are more prone to them than others. Why, I don't know. It might just be that - like everything else - people have different talents and strengths.
There's always the thought of "what if."
[again, a feeling far too familiar to Leia. Even now, she sometimes still catches herself wondering "what if."]
And that line of thinking does nothing but hurt you.
[again, a feeling far too familiar to Leia. Even now, she sometimes still catches herself wondering "what if."]
And that line of thinking does nothing but hurt you.
They aren't something you can train, I assume.
[Given that visions seemed to be mostly out of the blue, from her own assumptions and from what she's heard from others about them. Other parts of the Force, she can easily picture training methods, but not so with visions.]
[Given that visions seemed to be mostly out of the blue, from her own assumptions and from what she's heard from others about them. Other parts of the Force, she can easily picture training methods, but not so with visions.]
[ She goes very silent for a few moments.
There's a vague image, of all that smoke and flame, flickering, before fading.
Her head hurts, really. Her head is in her hands, her thoughts all swimming together from the exhaustion and the drink. Why had she called, again?]
... either way, it doesn't change what's already happened. Hibiki is the one who is suffering for all of this. I won't forgive myself for that.
There's a vague image, of all that smoke and flame, flickering, before fading.
Her head hurts, really. Her head is in her hands, her thoughts all swimming together from the exhaustion and the drink. Why had she called, again?]
... either way, it doesn't change what's already happened. Hibiki is the one who is suffering for all of this. I won't forgive myself for that.
[There's a low pulse of sympathy from Leia's side as Eleanor continues. She doesn't agree with her beating herself up, and it's frustrating how she continues to blame herself, but she obviously feels for her friend.]
And as I said, you're choosing to make yourself suffer in Hibiki's name. But perhaps this is a conversation we should continue in the morning.
And as I said, you're choosing to make yourself suffer in Hibiki's name. But perhaps this is a conversation we should continue in the morning.
[It's about what she expected. If they could be a focus of training, they might be more precise or even tuned out if someone didn't want to see them, but as Kanan said, not possible for any of that.]
All things considered, I'd say Ezra dealt with it in a mostly reasonable manner. Unless things were worse when he first had the vision?
All things considered, I'd say Ezra dealt with it in a mostly reasonable manner. Unless things were worse when he first had the vision?
[ Kanan chuckles. ]
The only reason Ezra didn't run off immediately in a panic is because Master Jinn and I were there to stop him and get him to think about it logically.
[ He pauses, turning a bit serious. ]
They can be upsetting. Difficult to understand. Overwhelming.
The only reason Ezra didn't run off immediately in a panic is because Master Jinn and I were there to stop him and get him to think about it logically.
[ He pauses, turning a bit serious. ]
They can be upsetting. Difficult to understand. Overwhelming.
I'll do what I must. What I must. I can handle that, I always have, it's fine, I'm... I'm... goodness everything is spinning... isn't that silly?
[She's struggling to fight off the tiredness, but it's getting harder and harder. All the negativity in the air isn't helping, either, the self-loathing settling on her like a heavy mantle.]
[She's struggling to fight off the tiredness, but it's getting harder and harder. All the negativity in the air isn't helping, either, the self-loathing settling on her like a heavy mantle.]
Eleanor, you need to rest. If not for yourself, then do it for those who will be concerned about your well-being, myself included.
[She doesn't exactly want to play this whole guilt trip card, but it's an option and one she feels might have more of an impact than trying to persuade her to do it for her own good.]
[She doesn't exactly want to play this whole guilt trip card, but it's an option and one she feels might have more of an impact than trying to persuade her to do it for her own good.]
[ Not logic, guilt. Leia certainly isn't the first of her friends who found themselves resorting to that very thing when it came to some of Eleanor's... stubbornness.
She falls quiet again, trying to make sense of what Leia's said, really. And frowning a little through that, not wanting to give up on her battle here, but ...
Finally: ]
... Could you play a little music?
[ She is so drunk. ]
She falls quiet again, trying to make sense of what Leia's said, really. And frowning a little through that, not wanting to give up on her battle here, but ...
Finally: ]
... Could you play a little music?
[ She is so drunk. ]
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